1. Take responsibility for your perspective when communicating:

    Simply declaring something implies “this is the way it is,” leaving less room for your partner to have a differing point of view. Softening words of introduction, like “What I have noticed about ______________________,” or “My understanding is _____________________,” makes it easier for your mate to have noticed or understood things differently than you.

  2. Seek to understand and appreciate your partner’s differing perspective:

    Use neutral, open ended questions to begin. Like a journalist, also use follow-up questions to draw out just what he or she understands, and why. Doing so goes a long way to help your partner feel really understood, even if the two of you do not ultimately agree.

  3. Embrace differing perspectives equally; yours is no better or worse than your partner’s:

    Equality must continually exist for romantic partnerships to thrive. So it is OK that you may not always see things the same way, as long as find ways to meet in the middle, or agree to disagree, with respect and appreciation for your romantic partner’s differing perspective.

  4. Be willing to be influenced by your partner’s way:

    Try out his or her mindset and manner of seeing, hearing and feeling the world. Doing so increases your flexibility, helping you grow in wisdom, and in your ability to get along even better with your partner and with others.