Embracing the Perspective of Your Wife, Husband or Romantic Partner

© 2019 Richard Chandler, MA, LPC, Masters in Psychotherapy, Licensed Professional Counselor

Learning to understand and appreciate your wife, husband, or romantic partner’s perspective is an essential skill. Your mutual happiness depends on seeing and feeling what life is like from the perspective of your mate. Couples that fail to embrace their mate’s perspective, his or her way of perceiving the world, remain unhappy. 

Experiencing life from another’s point of view is not easy to do. We all default to our perspective and way of seeing and experiencing the world. By embracing these four couples communication tips on perspective, you will begin to feel more empathy and alignment with your husband, wife, or romantic partner.

St. Cloud, MN Romantic Married Couple Talking about their Relationship of Trust, Love and Affection

1st Take Responsibility for Your Perspective When Communicating:

1st Take Responsibility for Your Perspective When Communicating:

When communicating, you might declare what we think, as if your thought is a statement of truth. Doing so implies, “this is the way it is,” leaving less room for your partner to have a differing point of view. We take responsibility for our way of seeing things by using softening words of introduction. Examples are:

  1. What I have noticed about ______________________,”
  2. “My understanding is __________________________,”
  3. "From my experience, ___________________________."

Introductory phrases help your mate to feel OK about having noticed or understood things in a different way than you. Presenting your thoughts with softening statements make it easier for your spouse to enter into a dialogue with you. She or he can more easily respond by saying asking you to expand on what you noticed, understood, and experienced.

His or her similar or differing understanding or experience are more likely to be shared. A more fluid and open conversation allows both of you to connect more deeply, growing your knowledge and appreciation of each other.

2nd, Seek to Understand & Appreciate Your Partner’s Differing Perspective:

Use neutral, open-ended questions to begin. As a journalist would do, make use of follow-up questions to draw out your mate’s understanding. After he or she talks for a bit, you can make summary statements, saying, My understanding of what you said is ____________________.”

Engaging more deeply in conversation in this way goes a long way to help your partner feel understood. Feeling understood helps you to connect even when the same way. You can be OK with each other despite not ultimately agreeing.

3rd, Embrace Differing Perspectives Equally; Yours is No Better or Worse than Your Partner’s:

Equality must continually exist for romantic partnerships to thrive. So it is OK that you may not always see things the same way, as long as you find ways to meet in the middle, or agree to disagree, with respect and appreciation for your spouse’s differing perspective.

Couples Therapy and Marriage Counselor in St. Cloud, MN Hands of Couple

4th, Be Willing to be Influenced by your Partner’s Way:

Try out his or her mindset and manner of seeing, hearing and feeling the world. Doing so increases your flexibility, helping you grow in wisdom, and in your ability to get along even better with your husband, wife as well as all others.

These 4 tips will serve you and your mate, whatever your situation, and will be especially helpful if you have been having the kind of difficulties that motivate you to seek out marriage therapy couples counseling in or near St. Cloud and in Central Minnesota.

For 9 more tips on getting along better with your mate, please click on this link.

* Telephone and video conferencing sessions may be arranged if there is a barrier to meeting face-to-face. Although couples counseling isn't covered by insurance, our rates are affordable. We also have a sliding fee scale with reasonable minimums. We do not ask financial questions to qualify for our sliding fee scale. You simply choose the amount that is comfortable for you and your budget. Please text or call (320)223-9481 to arrange a no-cost telephone consult.

* We Welcome & Affirm LGBTQ Individual Clients and Couples. 

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Chandler Counseling & Consulting - St Cloud, MN
Richard Chandler, MA, LPC

1204 7th St S
St Cloud, MN 56301

Our office building is just south of Tech High School and overlooks Lake George. Parking is very near our building for clients both in the back and the side of our building.

This is also the office of our business consulting service, Strategic Leadership Consultants of MN